Kate Gets Her Just Desserts
by KrisWritesWrongs
Summary: Kate investigates the mysterious kidnapping of Richard Castle.


_A/N-This story is dedicated to the ladies of the Sundae thread on ABC Castle message boards. Sorry I didn't make that clear when I first posted this. So the characters in this story (Lala, Stroppy, etc.) are real people, even if their names aren't real!_

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><p>Detective Kate Beckett scowled at the piece of paper Ryan handed her.<p>

"Ryan, what is this?" She said. "I don't want your secret Irish recipes." Ryan rolled his eyes at her. "This is what the kidnappers left on Castle's laptop."

"Huh." Beckett was stymied. Castle had been missing for a little over twenty-four hours but instead of a ransom note, the kidnappers left a recipe for some kind of chocolate pie. She was worried and confused. Why hadn't they asked for money? Surely they know he is a wealthy author. She hoped it wasn't some twisted Stephen King copy-cat situation and Castle had been kidnapped by nutjobs who wanted him to bring Derek Storm back to life or they'd cut off his foot.

"I assume this has been dusted for fingerprints?" Beckett asked. Ryan nodded. "This is weird. Trust Castle to get himself kidnapped by people who leave chocolate pie recipes instead of ransom notes."

"Yeah, if Castle were here right now, he'd love this. He'd probably say the CIA did it and the recipe is just a code." She and Ryan looked at each other. Is it possible? She held out the paper and they crowded together to study it.

"Graham cracker crust, chocolate pudding, whipped cream, cherries, coconut shredding, chocolate shavings…" Beckett read out loud. "I don't think this is a code unless they plan on making a chocolate Richard Castle pie." And under other circumstances, Beckett would be all for that idea, but right now she just wanted to get him home safely.

"Okay, look, we finally got a complete list of all the places Castle has been in the last 48 hours—or at least where his phone has been. I've split the list between you, me, and Esposito." She handed Ryan the list. "I'm gonna take the first five locations, you and Esposito take the rest. I know it's a long shot, but we should at least cover all the bases until we get more information. Okay?"

"Okay." Ryan hesitated. "I hope he's okay."

Beckett sighed. "Yeah, I know, Ryan. I hope we find him soon too." She headed out the door. Ten minutes later she was driving to a gourmet grocery store that Castle apparently visited the day before he went missing. Beckett tapped her fingers against the steering wheel impatiently. Midday traffic. She went over the last 48 hours in her head. She and Castle worked late and then they went out for drinks. She lost the George Clooney bet (she said he would actually marry this one; Castle said no way, he'd get rid of her soon…a week after they made this bet, George dumped her like a hot potato) so she owed him a beer. Castle escorted her back to her apartment (and tried to talk her into letting him "inspect" her bedroom) and that was the last time she saw him. Apparently that was the last time anyone saw him, except for the kidnappers.

When Kate reached the grocery store, she pulled over and went inside. The clerk piling up the tomatoes remembered Castle. He apparently flirted with her. Of course he did, thought Beckett sourly. Pretty girl, short skirt…. But she didn't have any other information to give Beckett other than that Castle had "the most _scrumptious_ ass. Really. I just wanted to squeeze it. With _both_ hands." Kate wanted to tell her that she knew very well that Castle had a scrumptious ass and if anyone was going to be squeezing it, she would. But she didn't. She thanked her and got back in her car. The next stop on her list was The Old Haunt, the bar he'd purchased. It had been closed for about a month for renovations and was due to open soon. When she pulled up outside the bar, she noticed a light was on inside. Hmmm…maybe one of the workers left it on. Then she noticed the front door was ajar. Pulling her gun from her holster, she quietly eased the door open and stepped inside. The bar was quiet. There was a slight coating of sawdust on the floor and lots of footprints in the sawdust. Probably the workers she thought until she saw a perfectly distinct imprint of a woman's shoe. In fact, the swirly patterns in the dust looked just like the pair of Born heels she had on right now.

"Curiouser and curiouser," she murmured to herself. She followed the Born shoe tracks until she almost tripped over a shoe—a man's shoe. In fact, it was a Castle shoe. If he weren't such a dandy she wouldn't have recognized it, but just two weeks ago Castle had been going on and on about the merits of this brand of shoes, how he had to special order them, blah blah blah. Kate remembered this because Esposito called Castle "Imelda Marcos" for the rest of the day.

The shoe was right outside the swinging doors that led to the kitchen. Kate took a deep breath, steadied her gun, and crashed through the doors.

"Police!"

A bizarre sight greeted her eyes. In the middle of the small kitchen area was a plastic kiddie swimming pool with pictures of happy whales and dolphins cavorting along its side. Inside the swimming pool was a pool of…melting vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream? And, sitting smackdab in the middle of _this_, was a cranky naked Richard Castle. A cold, cranky, naked Richard Castle. Kate could see his mountain-sized goose pimples from where she stood. His hair was gooey and drizzled with…

"Is that caramel topping?" She asked, walking towards him.

"Oh, thank you sweet Jesus," Castle said. "Get me out of here before they come back."

"Who?" Kate dipped a finger into a pile of white creamy fluff slowly sliding down his bare chest. "Oh my god. This is whipped cream. Really good whipped cream too. Might even be homemade. With real cream. Yum." She licked her finger with an audible slurp and dipped in again, this time to test the contents of the sticky, gooey substance on his knee.

"Yum _again_. Marshmallow fluff. Wow. Haven't had this stuff in years."

"Kate!" Castle raised his cuffed hands out of the ice cream pool. "Stop tasting me and rescue me! I'm telling you, these women are seriously nuts."

"Nuts," mused Kate. "Yes, that's what we're missing. Nuts." She leaned forward and delicately licked a drip of chocolate syrup running down his left ear.

"Ummmm," she moaned. "Damn, Castle, if I had known you were this delicious I would have poured Hershey's Syrup over your head and eaten you sooner." She looked at him, eyes sparkling devilishly. "I wonder what kind of yummy treats are hidden _under_ the ice cream?" Castle grabbed for her hand as she reached below a pail-sized scoop of strawberry ice cream.

"Please, Kate, I'm begging you. If you get rid of those ice cream women, you can do whatever you want with me later. Lick my caramel hair. Put a cherry in my navel and suck it out. Drizzle me with strawberry topping. Just arrest those—those—crazy women!"

Too late. They returned, trooping into the kitchen with cameras and cartons of ice cream, chattering amongst themselves. These women (ten or so; Kate couldn't keep count because they were all wearing pink t-shirts that proclaimed them to be "Sundae Sisters" above a picture of—

"Hey, Castle, you're on their shirts," Kate exclaimed. "As a sundae."

"Yeah, that's me," Castle said morosely. "I'm their specialty: a Castle sundae."

"So, what are you doing here?" asked one of the women, the only woman wearing lacy, beautifully made lingerie.

"Indeed. You are not a Sundae Sister," said another woman with a distinct English accent.

"Private party, sorry," murmured another woman. "Quick, we need to take pictures before the ice cream melts."

"And he loses his sense of humor," added another woman.

Castle waved his cuffed hands above his head. "Hello! Sense of humor, gone. I mean, really ladies. If you had asked more nicely and not poured hot fudge on my—" he paused for a moment—"more sensitive man parts, I would have participated willingly."

"Oh, that was Lala," one woman said. "She got too excited and spilled the fudge in the wrong place."

Lala protested, "That was Betty's fault. She bumped me."

"Hey, Stroppy was in such a hurry to lick his chest that _she_ bumped _me_," Betty defended herself.

"I am a proper English woman," said Stroppy. "We do _not_ push ahead of our fellow Sisters to be first in line to lick ice-cream covered men. We are patient and wait our turn…even if some women—I'm looking at you, Luv—do not." She crossed her arms and put on a proper pinky-up tea-drinking face.

"Oh, yeah, unless the ice cream is dripping off of a hunky Richard Castle," scoffed Tiff.

"A scrumptious hunk," said CastleFan. Or was it Kastlefan?

"Dreamy _and_ delicious," agreed Cynthea.

"Okay, Castle fans, that's enough," said Kate. "You've had your fun and made what I must admit is a delicious Richard Castle Sundae. Unfortunately, Mr. Castle did not participate willingly—"

"Uh, yeah he did," Yvonneh said. "Look." She handed her camera to Kate who flicked through several pictures of a grinning Castle in various stages of becoming a human sundae.

"Huh." Kate looked at Castle. He shrugged. "Well, I tried. I didn't want you to know I was into this pervy sex-food stuff."

Several of the women protested. "We're married! There was no sex. Just, uh, _tasting_."

"Okay, okay," Kate waved her hands in the air in defeat. "No one will be arrested…unless I don't receive copies of every picture from this evening in my email within 48 hours…but otherwise, no harm, no foul, okay ladies? Just, uh, let's get him out of the pool because I think he's getting wrinkly."

"And cold," added Castle. "You have no idea what all this ice cream is doing to the size of my—"

"Can't have that," muttered a woman.

"No indeed," agreed another.

The women, with Kate now as their leader, decided to uncuff Castle and help him out of the sundae pool to the dishwashing area where he could be spayed off with water.

While Castle stood, arms wrapped around two happy-to-help women, Kate wiped the biggest glops of ice cream and whipped cream and other delectables from his body with a warm wet towel. When she got to his thigh, she paused.

"Castle. You never told me you had a tattoo!"

Castle smiled. "Keep wiping me down and you'll find an even better surprise underneath all this ice cream."


End file.
